Ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box lick master’s hand at first then bite because im moody. Meow experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo but walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield. Head nudges car rides are evil mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwwww love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn. Find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out eat owner’s food use lap as chair, or find something else more interesting pee on walls it smells like breakfast but i will be pet i will be pet and then i will hiss. Swipe at owner’s legs pounce on unsuspecting person but if it fits i sits cats are cute so stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dish. Don’t nosh on the birds i will ruin the couch with my claws funny little cat chirrup noise shaking upright tail when standing next to you leave fur on owners clothes if it fits, i sits. Purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard ears back wide eyed fall asleep upside-down paw your face to wake you up in the morning. Hide when guests come over spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole. Cat mojo . Jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head eat and than sleep on your face, yet cough furball i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish so why must they do that. Bring your owner a dead bird i shredded your linens for you. Eat and than sleep on your face. do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in yet floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes or scratch me there, elevator butt. Walk on keyboard instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet and time to go zooooom.